Transition from 18 to 21

I realised how much my life has changed in all aspects in the recent years. Be it mindset and perspective of life or grooming and physical appearance, every little aspect has certainly undergone a major revolution.

While I can’t help but feel sad that I’m losing my youth, I am honestly very glad to have come this far to be who I am today. And yes, for this I would really give myself a resounding pat on the back.

Life hasn’t been a bed of roses all these years. As I reminisce about my past, the thought of how I used to be a teenager with atrociously low self-esteem, confidence level and an extremely pessimistic perspective of life makes me quiver. I still remember how I used to sink into depression more than half the time of my life, crying uncontrollably and crushing my test/exam papers whenever I didn’t perform up to expectation. Back then, I had a poor grasp of my emotions and self-worth. There were very frequent quarrels with my family and fall-outs with friends, and it was always because I felt that no one could ever understand me. Suicidal thoughts were constantly bombarding me as I felt it would be a ‘quick escape’ from all my problems. To sum it all up, I couldn’t cope with failures in life owing to my terribly stubborn nature and thinking way too lowly of myself.

Things only started to take a turn for the better when I was in my second year in Poly, at age 19. I wonder how that change came about but I guess that’s what happens when our level of maturity grows over the years. I realised that if I wanted respect from others, I had to first prove that I was worthy of their respect. Thus, I made a vow to change myself entirely so others would see me in a completely different light. Also, I guess the change was made possible because of my faith in God and not to mention, friends whom I made along the way. Of course, I am thankful for those who have been standing by me from then all the way till now. They are the ones who have seen me through the tough times and rough tides; from the horrid and ugly girl that I was, to the positive and confident lady that I am today. I am glad they have never given up on me; and of course this includes my dear family!

I am amazed by the major transition in my life and how God has so mercifully and lovingly led me by the hand and blessed me with this new-found life and a ‘new me’. Though I was initially very upset and teared when I wasn’t accepted by the University I’d applied for, I am definitely much stronger as a person now than ever before. I know when it’s time to pick myself up and move on because I reckon there will surely be better opportunities ahead of me. Whether it concerns my family, friends, work, studies or relationships, these are the 2 words I constantly tell myself now.. ‘Have Faith’.

 

ANYWAY………………..

 

Check out how I looked when I was 18! Colleagues couldn’t believe their eyes and commented I looked older back then. I think I was just extremely haggard and unhealthy-looking, somewhat like I was suffering from Anorexia. LOL. It’s quite evident that I put on some weight when I was 19. And I could finally flash a proper smile after having my braces removed. Also fixed my unkempt hair!

 

 

 

Then some time when I was about 20 years old, I started to be more attentive towards my dress sense. No more kiddy tees or ugly specs but I was still very scrawny-looking. As for now, I still am very skinny (unfortunately). But I’m no longer frail-looking and am absolutely confident in my own skin! I used to be overly self-conscious and was always worried about other people’s opinion about me but right now, who cares? Haters are gonna be haters anyway. I’ll just have to love and pamper myself and that’s all that matters.

 

A couple of photos to end this post off with! I have just embraced adulthood and am ready for the challenges ahead of me!

 

 

 

Sunny Girl on the Sunny Island of Singapore!

 

You’d absolutely have no idea how thrilled I was.. upon realising through Channel U’s Facebook page that Chun will be coming to Singapore this month!!!

Haven’t seen Fahrenheit at all this year, save for Aaron Yan as I managed to catch him during my Grad Trip in Taiwan as well as his album promo in July.

Love this drama and it was so addictive; I finished the whole series within a couple of days! PS: Usually take forever to complete my dramas.

So Channel U, please please please gimme a chance to win those tickets to Chun’s Closed Door Event! Because I guess it’s likely my one and only chance to catch him in SG this year!

Also, coincidentally, my surname is Chun. Hahaha.. Believe it or not, it’s evident from my NRIC!

Final Achievement as a Teenager

 

I’m living the last few hours as a teenager at 19 years old but I’m really proud of an achievement I made a while ago!

Well, it may sound silly and even ridiculous to many but I finally managed to cook a good bowl of rice for my lunch!

Experienced many failed attempts previously; somehow I just couldn’t get the water estimation right so it was always either too hard & dry/wet & sticky. :/

But today, my rice turned out well! Was so glad that I ate my lunch very heartily. Hehe.

Anyway, I guess that’s the spirit – to keep trying and learning because the only real mistakes in life are the ones in which we learn nothing from.

I shall bear this in mind as I start preparing myself mentally for work next month!

You wouldn’t wanna read ‘cause it’s damn wordy

Problems with my family and financial woes have been creating havoc in my life over the past few weeks. And as if those weren’t enough, there’s now another problem.

Perhaps I was over excited and preoccupied with the itinerary planning that it subconsciously caused me to neglect the opinion of others. After all, my colleague had recommended many ‘must visit’ places; and of course, being a food lover, I could not help but feel eager to include them in the itinerary.

For that, I really apologise and honestly, I do not mind omiting the place(s) that anyone does not want to go and including those that anyone wishes to visit. Anything’s fine with me as long as everyone’s happy, not so much of myself though I know well enough there’ll never be an itinerary that can satisfy everyone.

However, as I did my research day after day, problems started to surface (regarding the tour reservation – the 2 guys didn’t reply + one guide could only take 5 people) and it got me really vexed and worked up at one point. This is because firstly, I was the only one in it; at many points in time, had wanted to ask for help but hesistated at the thought that I’d be disturbing others.

Secondly, I was supposedly gonna take a loan from my Mum for my expenses there but because of our conflict (We haven’t even been on talking terms since the end of Feb), I was pretty sure she’d go back on her word. All these left me really frustrated, wondering if it was the wrong move to have initiated a trip when I don’t even have the means of going in the first place.

With so many things happening simultaneously, the disappointment hit me when I saw what was posted on Twitter. All I was trying to express was my distaste with everything’s that’s happening in this messed up life of mine. Felt I was probably incompetent in everything, even planning a simple itinerary. And was so overwhelmed by the problems that kept surfacing one after another. All these made me not feel like going on the trip anymore but others jumped to conclusions, thinking I was throwing a temper.

Seriously, I’m not a temperamental kid who makes a fuss out of everything. I’m someone you can really reason things out with. But it just saddens me when people have no idea of what I’ve been through these days, yet jump to conclusions about me. And at the end of the day, I’m made the scapegoat – saying I’m affecting everyone because of my decision to back out from the trip.

Anyway, I finally gathered enough courage to request for a loan last night. Whether I’ll get it or not, I still do not know. If my Mum agrees to give me a loan, I guess I can still go for the trip. But if she doesn’t give a damn, I guess I’ll have to forgo this trip. Borrowing from friends isn’t what I personally believe in.

Also, the research on the flight as well as the hotel was done by me. And that’s already a fair bit of contribution. As for the itinerary, perhaps the others would be a whole lot more efficient and competent in churning one out. Maybe I’m just not cut out for it.

2 Dates in 1 Day!

Last Friday, I met up with Reenie for a lunch + movie date!

Was delighted to finally be able to meet her, after so long.

Had mixed feelings about the end of school but am somehow feeling glad about it now because it’s way easier to meet up with everyone be it my Pri/Sec/Poly mates; save for those who’re working. Gahhhhhhh.

Anyway, we had lunch a decent lunch at Astons before we headed for our movie.

Caught ‘I Am Number Four’ and it’s not bad, I would say. Pretty thrilling.

 

 

 

 

 

Later that evening, I met Jerome for dinner at IMM before we went to Chevrons for a K session, where Janice joined us. It had been quite a while since I last saw her.

 

 

Sing, sang, sung. And thereafter, it was Home Sweet Home.

Correction. Home’s been a living hell for me for the past few weeks………

Kite-flying @ Marina Barrage

Went kite-flying for the first time in my life on 27 Feb 2011.

 Used to think there’s nothing really interesting or thrilling about getting a kite up into the air till I experienced it myself.

The amount of satisfaction you’d get as the kite soars higher and higher is indescribable.

However, the moment it starts plunging down, that’s when the anxiousness and apprehension sets in because you wouldn’t want the kite to land on the trees, water or on places where you’ll never be able to retrieve it.

Having said that, I guess I shall get myself a kite so I can go kite-flying again in future!

I figured out it’s a really ideal way to de-stress; enjoying the moment along with the evening breeze caressing your face.

What’s more, you can just lay a mat and have a simple picnic too!

There were many families at Marina Barrage that Sunday.

And I told myself if I were to have kids in future, I’d definitely take them there.

 

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Well, at this juncture.. Guess I really gotta thank Jerome for taking me to many places I’d never been to and for giving me the chances to experience and discover many new things in Singapore! (PS: I feel like a mountain tortoise sometimes! LOL.)

Ok, with all the enjoyment aside.. I mustn’t forget that final sem results would be out this month and as usual, most probably during my birthday week again.

Just praying and hoping the results won’t ruin my party mood for this month of March. And NO, I definitely wouldn’t allow it to!

Anyhow, if a miracle should happen and if I do get any ‘A’s and no ‘D’s, I shall have a splendid celebration, probably with fireworks?! LOL.

Whatever it is, my current mindset is to ENJOY WHILE I STILL CAN! Results aren’t gonna be a stumbling block since I’ve already secured a full-time job!

School’s out, Fun’s in!

At last, the long and winding journey in DOPT has ended!

Took quite a number of photos on 25 Feb 2011, the last day of school.

All have been posted on Facebook hence I shall not share them here.

However, I love this one, taken by Abigail cuz it’s me with Ms Tan’s 5 month old son – SKYLER in my arms!

What a cute name right? His blur, expressionless face, chubby cheeks and puppy eyes are really priceless too! ♥

I simply love and adore babies and young kids though I’m not sure if I’ll ever enter into motherhood. LOL.

 

 

Anyway, I’ve promised myself to have a BLAST during this month of March since full-time work will commence in exactly a month’s time.

I just wanna eat, drink and be merry during this month because I think I deserve to, right?

And my oh my. It’s just 15 days to my 20th Birthday. Yes, I’ve said it. 20th. Arghhhhh..

Well, since time and tide waits for no man, I shall enjoy the remaining days I have as a 19 year old teenager!

Hanging in there

Basically, these are the outstanding tasks I’ve got to fulfil before I can finally declare completion of the course.

 

 

And as of today……..

IT’S OFFICIALLY:

-4 days to my LAST clinic EVER,

-6 days to FYP PRESENTATION,

-10 days to the LAST DAY of school &

-24 days to the FINAL WRAP UP of DOPT!!!

Also, it’s just 34 days to my grad trip to Taiwan!!!!!!

 

Kudos to everyone who managed to pull through this course along with me.

And only those from DOPT will truly understand the extent of ‘living hell’ we’ve all been through.

Nevertheless, we’re reaching the End Point.. TOGETHER.

Anything.. for you.

 

 

It has reached a point where I don’t expect any reciprocation from you or for you to even know about it.

Time is running out and though there is a big limit, I just wanna do whatever I can.. for you.

CNY Day 3

Decided to invite a couple of friends (particularly those from poly) to my house on CNY Day 3 (5 Feb)  as most of them had never been to my place, except for Serene.

And being a rather hospitable host, I baked Honey Joys for my guests the night before and also made some sparkling almond jelly with lychee dessert for them.

 

 

 

 

The group photo of everyone. Invited Jadeite since she’s currently on a short vacation here and will be back to Hangzhou on the 18th. And I wanted to thank her for being my patient in clinic as well.

 

 

 

Though she came super late, I’m still glad she did come!!

 

 

 

These 2 girls were totally couch potatoes. They just had to hug the cushions and cuddle up together while watching TV. LOL.

 

 

 

Lastly, a lovely couple here. Am happy for them!

 

PS: Am probably gonna plan a steamboat gathering next year!!!